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Marriage is a legal union between two people that establishes rights and obligations between them, and their dependents. It is a binding of two individuals’ dreams, hobbies, fears, and family. Yet while it may not be anyone’s first thought, marriage is also considered a wealth-generating institution.

There are several wealth-related benefits that married couples receive. First, they are more likely to save money–and more of it. Second, they are able to save on shared expenses. Third, stable couples are able to avoid the costs associated with divorce, like child support or alimony.

These wealth-generating aspects of marriage are researched by groups such as the National Marriage Project. Stephanie Knarr Ph.D., is a supporter of the National Marriage Project and National Marriage Week. She is hosting an upcoming event, The Gottman Art and Science of Love Weekend Retreat Workshop, for married couples during National Marriage Week on February 11-12, 2023, in Baltimore, MD: The Gottman Art and Science of Love Weekend Retreat Workshop. Event information can be found at https://www.drstephanieonline.com/media/couples-weekend-retreat/ and at https://www.nmwusa-calendar.org/ on the National Marriage Week Calendar.

Research

According to data pulled from the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth (1979 cohort), stable, married couples in their 50s have nearly double the wealth as compared to individuals who never married on average. This is consistent across racial and education lines.

The reasons for these differences are researched by the National Marriage Project, among others. The NMP is a nonpartisan research project based out of the University of Virginia.

They are dedicated to measuring the pulse of marriage in America. In addition, they examine the influences on this generation of marriage.

Saving Money

Part of the reason for this wealth gap between married and unmarried individuals is fewer obstacles for married couples. Financial services experts Fiduchi explains that married couples have united goals that they work towards.

This shared plan makes both individuals more likely to save, and these long-term plans provide something to strive for.

On top of this, most marriages within the younger, current demographic consist of both parties bringing in paychecks. Long gone are the marriages with one working spouse. Although it is achievable, it is not as common within this generation.

Shared Expenses

Another major aspect that improves wealth is the fact that partners can save by sharing expenses. By utilizing two paychecks against one mortgage, rent, or other bills, married couples can reduce their monthly expenses and increase savings.

Pooling financial assets in a marriage is best, however, a yearly meeting to update and audit financial goals and retirement plans is essential.

Stable Marriages Come with Many Benefits

Marriages that don’t last will end in a plethora of costs. There are legal costs, moving costs, the loss of consolidated expenses, child support, alimony and the like.

Then there is the initial bias that stable marriages necessitate the two people to have a good sense of decision-making, finances, trust, and long-term commitment. Even prior to marriage, both individuals should be financially established.

Retirement

Studies have also concluded that married couples in retirement are more satisfied than their single counterparts.

In a 2012 study by the National Bureau of Economic Research shows that married couples of median retirement age, between 65-69 have almost 10 times as much savings as a typical single person household and feel more financially stable.

Final Thoughts

It is clear that there are many benefits to a long-term, stable marriage to include wealth. Marriage can be a surprising anti-poverty method, as the many benefits of marriage are not dependent on a couple’s color or creed. Stephanie Knarr Ph.D. shares research and helps couples to practice new strategies for their relationship during The Gottman Art and Science of Love Weekend Retreat Workshop. Most couples who have attended the Art and Science of Love have reported that their relationship improved and they created a more successful, stable marriage relationship.

When children are the primary focus of a marriage, not only will the marriage suffer, but the children will be robbed of the benefits of a ‘marriage-first’ parenting style. When parents make their marriage a priority, it can lead to a healthier, stronger, and more beneficial family dynamic.

Dr. Stephanie Weiland Knarr says that parents who put their relationship with their spouse above all others, provides a deeper foundation for the family. This can result in improved child well-being, an example of a healthy relationship for the children to emulate, ensures that the marriage will survive unforeseen turbulent circumstances, and the eventual empty nest.

Marriage and parenthood are ancient concepts. Yet each marriage is forging a new path into the future for two unique individuals. Stephanie Weiland Knarr explains why making each marriage a priority is so valuable.

What a ‘Marriage First’ Relationship Looks Like

Having a ‘marriage first’ relationship is simple concept, but it may take some effort to achieve. The relationship was, before children, just two people in love, planning a future and spending time together. When children come along, those two lovebirds now have another person to tend to, love, spend time with, and make happy.

However, forgetting to focus on the primary relationship is the dilemma. No spouse wants to feel forgotten or cast aside, even if it’s unintentional. And although there is a shift in the dynamics of the relationship when children are involved, the relationship between the husband and wife should not be overlooked. The marriage still needs to be tended to, loved, given time, and made happy – just as parents do for their children.

Setting aside time for the spouse is key. For example, once a week take some time to have uninterrupted time alone with your spouse. Whether it’s a date night, shared activity or conversation and a cup of coffee, no matter how much noise the rest of the world is making, this time should not be compromised or interrupted.

If necessary, put this ‘marriage-time’ on a calendar, set a reminder or an alarm. Weeks can go by and the idea of a date night, or having alone time sounds great, but, especially with busy kids’ schedules time can fly right by. Having these reminders can be essential to ensure these dates are not missed.

Parents should also make the children aware of the scheduled quality alone time. This allows the children to observe their parents’ putting effort into their bond.

What ‘Marriage First’ Is Not

Prioritizing a marriage does not mean that parents love their children any less. This does not mean they spend less time with their children. It simply is showing the children how valuable the relationship between their parents is.

How Children Benefit

Children whose parents put their marriage first can benefit in many ways with:

• Improved educational performance
• Better social development
• Stable behavioral development

In addition to the above benefits outlined in various studies, devoted parents who focus on their marriage allows children to experience a healthy relationship firsthand. Creating a stable foundation in the home environment allows children to approach the world fearlessly. It also creates a base for the children’s future relationships, creating a high standard of expectation for their own relationships.

Closing Thoughts

Prioritizing the relationship will not fix every complication in married life. It is, however, a fantastic place to start. The benefits of a marriage focused family are abundant. Spending time with your spouse will benefit the relationship, the children, and the future of the family. Remembering that the marriage starts and ends with two people is what is most important.